CLEVELAND -- A homemade pornographic film featuring epic jackass Albert Belle has been leaked by an anonymous Kansas City crack whore. Indians executives are desperately scrambling to destroy the few copies of the tape out there.
"Thank God it isn't the internet age or we wouldn't have a chance," Larry Dolan, an Indians executive said. "I mean, even if it wasn't a video, even if it was just a player naked in the mirror with a coffee cup over his cock -- there's no way we could block the release."
The video, a 45-minute disturb-a-thon, features Belle and an unknown friend whom we calls "Lil Boochie," gang-banging a young broad at a Kansas City Super 8. Belle is seen throwing the young girl through the air into the shower stall, followed by a barrage of glass plates.
"Call me the Ice Man," Belle says as Boochie grabs his genitals, lubes it with his mouth, and glides it into the young woman's rectum.
The video ends with Belle climaxing on both participants and then smoking a Newport.
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